Anyone up for some great jokes? Remember we are all the same. PLZ Enjoy, Let me know what you think. Thanks.?
June 2, 2010 by
Filed under southern jokes
SOMETHING TO OFFEND EVERYONE!
What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?
Juan on Juan
What is a Yankee?
The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.
What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover?
The position of the dirt bag
Why is divorce so expensive?
Because it’s worth it.
What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over?
Doughnuts
Why is air a lot like sex?
Because it’s no big deal unless you’re not getting any.
What do you call a smart blonde?
A golden retriever.
What do attorneys use for birth control?
Their personalities.
What’s the difference between a girlfriend and wife?
45 lbs
What’s the difference between a boyfriend and husband?
45 minutes
Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking?
Because those men already have boyfriends.
Why don’t bunnies make noise when they have sex?
Because they have cotton balls.
What’s the difference between a porcupine and BMW?
A porcupine has the pricks on the outside.
What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
“Are you sure it’s mine?”
Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex?
Mace will do that to you.
Why did OJ Simpson want to move to West Virginia ?
Everyone has the same DNA.
Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
Breasts don’t have eyes.
Did you hear about the dyslexic Rabbi?
He walks around saying “Yo.”
Why do drivers’ education classes in Redneck schools use the car only on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays?
Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it.
Where does an Irish family go on vacation?
A different bar.
Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a retarded baby?
They named him “Sum Ting Wong”.
What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?
A speech impediment.
What does it mean when the flag at the Post Office is flying at half-mast?
They’re hiring.
What’s the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo?
A southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage along with… “a recipe”.
How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F word?
Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*!
What’s the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale?
A northern fairytale begins “Once upon a time…” -A southern fairytale begins “Y’all ain’tgonnabelievethisshit….
Why is there no Disneyland in China?
No one’s tall enough to go on the good rides
HAVE A GREAT DAY
Those are hilarious!!
weren’t those same exact jokes in that same exact order posted the other day?
not funny dude and ………
Those were awesome… especially the Juan on Juan… very funny
next time use original joke not some that have been e-mailed around for years.
lmao those were excellent
whats the difference between a woman in church and one in the bath? One has hope in her soul, and the other has soap…… I thought your jokes were pretty funny, some were kind of old, but i wouldnt report you.
hahaha those are great
yea those were pretty funny
even if they were posted the other day i didn’t see then………
good ones, post them again in a week or so!!!!!
I have to say that those may have been the funniest jokes that I have ever heard!!!!!!! I am in the process of sending them on to everyone I know! I wish I knew where you people get this stuff! I guess you were just born with the gift!
Thanks for the laugh
I’m blond and I always like a good blond joke
Very Good They r very funny and hilarious
keep up
have fun
those were great. loved the bmw one.