Are you easily offended? If so then stay away from these jokes! but remember we are all the same.?
May 31, 2010 by
Filed under southern jokes
Hope you enjoy!
SOMETHING TO OFFEND EVERYONE!
What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?
Juan on Juan
What is a Yankee?
The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.
What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover?
The position of the dirt bag
Why is divorce so expensive?
Because it’s worth it.
What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over?
Doughnuts
Why is air a lot like sex?
Because it’s no big deal unless you’re not getting any.
What do you call a smart blonde?
A golden retriever.
What do attorneys use for birth control?
Their personalities.
What’s the difference between a girlfriend and wife?
45 lbs
What’s the difference between a boyfriend and husband?
45 minutes
Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking?
Because those men already have boyfriends.
Why don’t bunnies make noise when they have sex?
Because they have cotton balls.
What’s the difference between a porcupine and BMW?
A porcupine has the pricks on the outside.
What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
“Are you sure it’s mine?”
Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex?
Mace will do that to you.
Why did OJ Simpson want to move to West Virginia ?
Everyone has the same DNA.
Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
Breasts don’t have eyes.
Did you hear about the dyslexic Rabbi?
He walks around saying “Yo.”
Why do drivers’ education classes in Redneck schools use the car only on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays?
Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it.
Where does an Irish family go on vacation?
A different bar.
Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a retarded baby?
They named him “Sum Ting Wong”.
What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?
A speech impediment.
What does it mean when the flag at the Post Office is flying at half-mast?
They’re hiring.
What’s the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo?
A southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage along with… “a recipe”.
How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F word?
Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*!
What’s the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale?
A northern fairytale begins “Once upon a time…” -A southern fairytale begins “Y’all ain’tgonnabelievethisshit….
Why is there no Disneyland in China?
No one’s tall enough to go on the good rides
HAVE A GREAT DAY
offensive jokes suck.
word dont offend me because i’m cold hearted and i pay no mind to it
Thanks, I needed a good laugh about now.
I’ll share one myself. No intentions to offend anyone either so here goes:
If a well-endowed girl works at Hooters, where would a one-legged man work?
IHOP
OK.
I needed that tonight
Thanks!!
So wrong but so funny
haha
I had to scroll back up to the top to remember the question!
Easily offended? Me? Not usually.
The jokes – I enjoyed them.
Here’s a couple to you:
Q: What do you call a man with no legs in a lake?
A: Bob
Q: A rooster facing north on top of a barn lays an egg. Which direction will it roll?
A: It won’t. Roosters don’t lay eggs.
no offense taken. I needed a good laugh.
Thanks for the laugh. I am going to make copies of the jokes to take home to my daughter and friend.
funny!
Good Ones !! could have posted one or two at a time so that we could have enjoyed them thoroughly and could even remember for future use!!! No problem….They were all Good!!!
If we can’t laugh at the person next to us, who do we laugh at???
Thanx for the laughs!!!
So long as you tell them all together… I think we can all have a good laugh at each other. Very funny.