Can I offend anyone? I hope not, these are jokes and we are all the same! Let me know what you think, Thanks.?
May 20, 2010 by
Filed under southern jokes
SOMETHING TO OFFEND EVERYONE!
What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?
Juan on Juan
What is a Yankee?
The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.
What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover?
The position of the dirt bag
Why is divorce so expensive?
Because it’s worth it.
What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over?
Doughnuts
Why is air a lot like sex?
Because it’s no big deal unless you’re not getting any.
What do you call a smart blonde?
A golden retriever.
What do attorneys use for birth control?
Their personalities.
What’s the difference between a girlfriend and wife?
45 lbs
What’s the difference between a boyfriend and husband?
45 minutes
Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking?
Because those men already have boyfriends.
Why don’t bunnies make noise when they have sex?
Because they have cotton balls.
What’s the difference between a porcupine and BMW?
A porcupine has the pricks on the outside.
What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
“Are you sure it’s mine?”
Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex?
Mace will do that to you.
Why did OJ Simpson want to move to West Virginia ?
Everyone has the same DNA.
Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
Breasts don’t have eyes.
Did you hear about the dyslexic Rabbi?
He walks around saying “Yo.”
Why do drivers’ education classes in Redneck schools use the car only on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays?
Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it.
Where does an Irish family go on vacation?
A different bar.
Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a retarded baby?
They named him “Sum Ting Wong”.
What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?
A speech impediment.
What does it mean when the flag at the Post Office is flying at half-mast?
They’re hiring.
What’s the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo?
A southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage along with… “a recipe”.
How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F word?
Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*!
What’s the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale?
A northern fairytale begins “Once upon a time…” -A southern fairytale begins “Y’all ain’tgonnabelievethisshit….
Why is there no Disneyland in China?
No one’s tall enough to go on the good rides
HAVE A GREAT DAY
Lmao hey that good what you put on this lol
lol… they didn’t offend me but they’re funny!
Love it!
“What’s the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale?
A northern fairytale begins “Once upon a time…” -A southern fairytale begins “Y’all ain’tgonnabelievethisshit…. ”
HaHaHa . . . so true
they’re pretty funny
lol thats funny.
lol thats sooo good but sry i wasnt offended but nice try!
some are inappropriote, and some are discriminating
Love them! No offense taken…got any more?
GREAT! NOT OFFENDING AT ALL
LOL!……………………….. I wasn’t really offended it was really funny
im hispanic and that “juan on juan” one made me laugh the hardest. soooooooo funny!!! thanks.
that was great.
whatever… i was offended
i dont like jokes like that
people who make jokes like that are just masking thier meaness behind humor anyway. and obviously your mean because you took the time to harrass me on my questions….
ya know, people report you kind of weirdos. i haven’t but be more carefull in the future.
not offending me…lol
it was so hilarous im sending it to friends and family now!LOL
ok yah
HAVE A GREAT DAY…….You know short ones are sweet….
Do you think reverse psychology would work on the YA censors, truly? LOL.
You have probably been hanging out with that Helga Lady again! LOL. LOL.
Take care; the vicious little piranhas swim in this water. LOL.
Have a great evening, and week!