Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Do you want to laugh? Read these and remember we are all the same! They are just jokes! Humor is good for ALL?

May 26, 2010 by  
Filed under southern jokes

SOMETHING TO OFFEND EVERYONE!
What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?
Juan on Juan

What is a Yankee?
The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.

What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover?
The position of the dirt bag

Why is divorce so expensive?
Because it’s worth it.

What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over?
Doughnuts

Why is air a lot like sex?
Because it’s no big deal unless you’re not getting any.

What do you call a smart blonde?
A golden retriever.

What do attorneys use for birth control?
Their personalities.

What’s the difference between a girlfriend and wife?
45 lbs

What’s the difference between a boyfriend and husband?
45 minutes

Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking?
Because those men already have boyfriends.

Why don’t bunnies make noise when they have sex?
Because they have cotton balls.

What’s the difference between a porcupine and BMW?
A porcupine has the pricks on the outside.

What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
“Are you sure it’s mine?”

Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex?
Mace will do that to you.

Why did OJ Simpson want to move to West Virginia ?
Everyone has the same DNA.

Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
Breasts don’t have eyes.

Did you hear about the dyslexic Rabbi?
He walks around saying “Yo.”

Why do drivers’ education classes in Redneck schools use the car only on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays?
Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it.

Where does an Irish family go on vacation?
A different bar.

Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a retarded baby?
They named him “Sum Ting Wong”.

What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?
A speech impediment.

What does it mean when the flag at the Post Office is flying at half-mast?
They’re hiring.

What’s the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo?
A southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage along with… “a recipe”.

How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F word?
Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*!

What’s the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale?
A northern fairytale begins “Once upon a time…” -A southern fairytale begins “Y’all ain’tgonnabelievethisshit….

Why is there no Disneyland in China?
No one’s tall enough to go on the good rides

HAVE A GREAT DAY

Comments

12 Responses to “Do you want to laugh? Read these and remember we are all the same! They are just jokes! Humor is good for ALL?”
  1. a_rowe2004 says:

    funny… thanks for the laugh

  2. candace says:

    Those are hilarious.

  3. Erica says:

    Just great but not all us southerners are like that. LMAO. Na we are. That’s what’s sad.

    Thanks. LOL.

  4. Lana says:

    these are funny– you made my day!!

  5. tess says:

    ok its funny..thanks

  6. chimchim850 says:

    didnt get some of them but over all very funny

  7. awommack says:

    ok

  8. Ivan says:

    OMG i Fvcking Laughed specially with the Disneyland in china

    Ty for making me laugh >.<

  9. John S says:

    Thanks. I loved it. Who gets the 10 points?
    Those were great. You made my day. You did a good thing making us laugh. Way to go. Who gets the 10 points?

  10. noylen c says:

    very funny, i needed that

  11. jfmm says:

    LOL. That’s Great! LOL. LOL.

    Have a great weekend!

  12. carolina_girl_109 says:

    some of those were funny thanx 4 the laugh,man!!!!

Speak Your Mind

Tell us what you're thinking...
and oh, if you want a pic to show with your comment, go get a gravatar!

You must be logged in to post a comment.

Powered by Yahoo! Answers